Tis a different kettle of fish

Yesterday I returned our kettle. It was the third time I've had to take it back and it pissed me off. I mean, it was a brilliant kettle. It was called a Hot Cup and it was by Breville. It boiled one cup at a time and it just looked cool. But the lid on the first one we had kept jamming, so I exchanged it for a new one. That lid stopped working as well so I took that one back. The lid on the third one started jamming as well, but I couldn't be arsed to return it so we soldiered on. But then it started cutting out for no apparent reason. This started a few weeks ago, but once again I couldn't be arsed to return it so we kept it. Then I nearly snapped one day and almost threw it through the window at three-legged cat, who just happened to be opening his bowels in my flowerbed at that moment.

So I went onto John Lewis' site to see what else they had to offer me and I found a wicked cool black and stainless steel kettle by Bosch. So yesterday I made the trip up to Preston with Mr Bunny and took the car while he was busy earning the money to keep me in Mulberry bags. After sitting in traffic caused by some terrible fog, I returned the kettle to the branch we originally bought it from, got my refund and just browsed for a bit. When I went to buy the new kettle, turns out they were out of stock, but the nice chap told me they should be getting some pretty soon. I decided to go to the Trafford Centre and try the branch there. After standing in a queue that could have easily been mistaken for the queue to draw one's pension, turns out that branch was out of stock too. But this even nicer man told me he could take my name, address and card details, and when the shipment came in, it would automatically ship the kettle to me.

So now we have no kettle and have been reduced to living like crackheads, boiling water in a saucepan. And seeing as I drink about seven or eight cups of tea in the morning, and the only liquids Mr Bunny drinks are tea and beer, we need a kettle and we need it fast. This gives the phrase 'a pot of tea' a whole new meaning.

This is my life and sometimes it's shit.