Hurts doughnut?

My mom phoned me this morning, just to check in and say hello. She does this a couple times a week, and usually it goes well. And it was going well this morning, as per. Y'know, just chatting about our imminent move, my sister, Mr Bunny, the weather, the usual bollocks. But then it all went straight to hell. You see, I mentioned the upcoming dinner from hell and my profound desire to pass the evening tucked up in bed, watching Golden Girls and eating smoked salmon. My problems with the sister-in-law and the two exes are well known to my mother.

Anyway, I told her that I really couldn't be arsed to go, based on the guest list. And her advice to me? "Well, just make sure you don't do anything...just handle the situation in a, you know, dignified manner. Don't be difficult, eh?" And that just pissed me off. I mean, what the hell does she think I'll do? So I said to her "Eh? Who do you take me for? What do you think I'm going to do? Cuss them out and spit in their food? Yeah I'd bloody love to, but I'm not going to do that. Steups." Then she had a go at me for not inviting that chick to my wedding, telling me I behaved badly and I was in the wrong. And I wanted to release a barrage of F-bombs down the phone. But she's still my mother and she can still lay down some slaps on me if she wanted. So I just let out a long steups.

Look, I have NO regrets about not inviting that girl to my wedding. There were 10 people at my wedding, including me and Mr Bunny and the priest. Same for the meal. The problem arose when Mr Bunny, in a drunken haze decided to invite his mate, The Han. The Han's brother, Mini Han was best man. It was really a toss up a to who would get the gig. Mini Han won. Anyway, after the ceremony, we're back at the hotel having some drinks and Mr Bunny decides he wants to invite The Han to the meal, which I had zero issue with. I like The Han. He's a good laugh and he's always been very nice to me. My only stipulation was that he couldn't bring his girlfriend, since it wasn't a 'plus one' situation. My mate The Princess didn't bring her boyfriend, even though I knew him really well and she'd invited both of us to her wedding later on that year. Mini Han didn't bring his boyfriend, even though we also knew him and I quite like him. The Han's girlfriend on the other hand, I'd met her only once and she was a complete sour faced cow. PLUS The Han was thinking of breaking up with her! AND there were loads of close friends I hadn't invited because we were having a small, intimate wedding.

Why the hell would I want her at my wedding? In my pictures? Why should my dad pay for a meal for some girl I barely even know? I mean, if there were going to be hundreds at my wedding, yeah come in, sit down, get lashed. But I'd booked a table at this fab little restaurant for a nice quiet meal with our nearest and dearest. And that did not include her. Steups. In the end, I had to phone The Han myself, and tell him that 'plus ones' weren't invited. I did feel a little bad, but whatevs. But the way my parents reacted, you'd swear I just called up and cursed out my gran! Steups.

So anyway, homie is still toting feelings. Almost three years later. Bah. I maintain that I was in the right, and there is no one on this earth, who can tell me any different.

What really aggravates me even though, is that not only does my mother still think I was in the wrong with this whole wedding malarkey, but she obviously thinks so little of me that she feels I'm going to be a twat at the Meal from Hell TM. It's like this- I know I'm better than all of them. I'm better looking, better educated, a better dresser, classier and have cooler hair. In short, I'm just awesome. But I'm ace enough that my aceness just shines through. So there's no need for me to cuss up anyone or make sarcastic remarks or be a bitch. I can just sit there, being fab and smiling serenely and they won't have any choice but to sit there and take it.

And I guess it's just a little hurtful that my own mother doesn't see me like that. Instead she felt the need to make stupid remarks and piss me off, as is her wont these days. Steups.

Instead of wallowing though, I had smoked salmon, cream cheese and Ryvita, for it is the breakfast of the awesome!