We're only human after all

Tiger Woods has been boning down. Like, constantly. So what, I hear you cry? Well, problem is, he's married with two kids. Yessss... And he wasn't boning down with his wife.

Oh no!

As strong as my feelings are on adultery- my husband is very clear on this, and there is a 'bail' fund in case he ever gets caught in the act and I stab him and beat the crap out of her. But he isn't the cheating type, so I think I'll buy some Louboutins with the fund- but I digress. As strong as my feelings are on adultery, I'm finding it very hard to sum up any sort of emotion about this.

What is wrong with me??

I mean, am I so cold hearted that I cannot feel anything for the young, gorgeous woman, whose uber-rich semi-attractive husband had A LOT of sex with women who looked just like her? I mean, if she divorces him, she walks away with a cool $300 mil and will most likely be snapped up by some other self-absorbed rich dude. And he will be free to shag whomever he likes. Is that such a horrible thing?

Ok, so the man had some sex. And she is humiliated and hurt. But I find the whole situation so ludicrous that I'm really not arsed. I can understand how she must be feeling. I mean, I've been cheated on in the past. It was almost ten years ago, but finding out isn't at all a nice feeling. And it's probably a jillion times worse when it happens in public like this. So I do feel kind of bad for her. But I think that's where it stops.

I have no emotional investment in Tiger Woods. He doesn't factor into my life in any way. I mean, yes I remember watching that Masters tournament and the interview on Oprah afterwards. And even then I didn't watch the whole tournament. Just the final day, when it was clear that something special was going to happen. The thing is, golf is one of the dullest sports on the planet, a title also shared by snooker, curling, badminton and darts. So I am not really bothered by Tiger's achievements.

I think it also has something to do with the fact that I think he's full of shit. A fact that has only been compounded by his response to this whole malarkey. Instead of admitting right off the bat that he'd been caught with his trousers round his ankles and making the wrong sort of hole in one, he issued two completely lame-ass statements. Steups. I'm getting all riled up just thinking about it. It's taking me back to the 'cablinasian' bollocks he spouted on Oprah all those years ago. Yer man is mixed. Ok, yes. His mama's Thai and his dad is black. Instead of just saying that, he invents this ridiculous word and probably heard my eyes rolling all the way from my gran's living room in Trinidad.

So now I couldn't really care less what he gets up to. His wife and kids will be generously provided for, whatever the outcome of this so I don't think they need my sympathy. He wasn't beating the crap out of her or anything. Just being immensely stupid.

Steups. I'm over it.