You'll never bloody guess what's gone and happened, oh reader of mine. They've only gone and split up. Yes. Sister-in-law and Farmer Dan are no longer together. No longer an item. No longer making whoopie. It's a shame, really. I won't go into the details of their breakup here, but needless to say, it has not been painless. And he has turned out to be a little bit psycho. He'd been texting Mr Bunny, asking for advice and what not. Or at least that's what we assumed he was doing. It was hard to tell. I mean, his grasp of English appears to be worse than that of an illiterate immigrant. There is obviously a reason he's a farmer, and not say, a Captain of Industry or a taxi driver. Anyway, he turned all psycho, telling people all sorts of things about the sister-in-law, stealing her tickets for V Festival, and basically pretending to NOT be a giant twat. Luckily I always knew he was a giant twat, so it's all good.
And do you know what the kicker is? It's that he's gone and given away the bastard dogs, apparently in an attempt to get back at her. Awww, bless. And she's more pissed that he gave them away and didn't sell them, because they cost £900. Yes, you heard that right. They spent NINE HUNDRED POUNDS on dogs. And that was before they'd had a single shot or ate a single bowl of chow. The same dogs she couldn't bear to be apart from for a couple nights while she came to visit us, were the same dogs she left at Farmer Dan's when she moved out after they broke up. Steups.
So I feel particularly vindicated in the stance I took regarding having them dogs come to visit. Shame Mr Bunny doesn't feel the same way. Sister-in-law now lives with Fat Suuu, which is where she went when she and Farmer Dan called it quits. The Bell lives on a boat and visits from time to time. Don't ask. The Bell is an idiot and does shit like that.
And as for the dogs? I really don't give a shit. I'm just glad they were never in my house.
